Муха-Цокотуха... почти.

У основания лестничных перил во дворе заметила большую плотную сеть с паутиной, пауком в углу и мухой в центре. Классическая такая картинка из учебника природоведения. Подозвала носящегося вокруг сына, показываю с умным видом - смотри, мол, как интересно.. Тот наклонился посмотрел, подумал несколько секунд и вдруг шмяк ботинком по пауку.
Я в шоке: "Ты что наделал?!"
Он мне с удивлением: "Как что? Я муху спас!"
Я ему: "Она же уже мёртвая была!"
Он на секунду растерялся, а потом: "Нууу. .. ту муху, которая завтра бы туда попала!"

Муха-Цокотуха... почти.

У основания лестничных перил во дворе заметила большую плотную сеть с паутиной, пауком в углу и мухой в центре. Классическая такая картинка из учебника природоведения. Подозвала носящегося вокруг сына, показываю с умным видом - смотри, мол, как интересно.. Тот наклонился посмотрел, подумал несколько секунд и вдруг шмяк ботинком по пауку.
Я в шоке: "Ты что наделал?!"
Он мне с удивлением: "Как что? Я муху спас!"
Я ему: "Она же уже мёртвая была!"
Он на секунду растерялся, а потом: "Нууу. .. ту муху, которая завтра бы туда попала!"

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support, 
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct
slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry 
applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as 
 · Romance 9.5 and 
 · Personal Attention 6.5, 
and then installed undesirable programs such as 
 · NBA 5.0, 
 · NFL 3.0  and 
 · Golf Clubs 4.1.
Worth noting also that · Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, 
and · Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. 
What can I do? 
Signed, 
Desperate.
 
 
 
Dear Desperate, 
First, keep in mind, 
· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, 
while · Husband 1.0 is an operating system. 
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html 
and try to download · Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install · Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically 
run the applications · Jewelry 2.0 and · Flowers 3.5. 
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 
to default to · Grumpy Silence 2.5, · Happy Hour 7.0 or · Beer 6.1. 
Please note that · Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download 
· Snoring Loudly Beta. 
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0
It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of 
all your system resources. 
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory 
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional 
software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend · Cooking 3.0 and · Hot Lingerie 7.7. 
 Good Luck Babe! 
Tech Support 

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support, 
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct
slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry 
applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as 
 · Romance 9.5 and 
 · Personal Attention 6.5, 
and then installed undesirable programs such as 
 · NBA 5.0, 
 · NFL 3.0  and 
 · Golf Clubs 4.1.
Worth noting also that · Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, 
and · Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. 
What can I do? 
Signed, 
Desperate.
 
 
 
Dear Desperate, 
First, keep in mind, 
· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, 
while · Husband 1.0 is an operating system. 
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html 
and try to download · Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install · Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically 
run the applications · Jewelry 2.0 and · Flowers 3.5. 
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 
to default to · Grumpy Silence 2.5, · Happy Hour 7.0 or · Beer 6.1. 
Please note that · Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download 
· Snoring Loudly Beta. 
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0
It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of 
all your system resources. 
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory 
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional 
software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend · Cooking 3.0 and · Hot Lingerie 7.7. 
 Good Luck Babe! 
Tech Support